For My Homies in the Projects of State College

The 'Price is Right' is awesome. I don't know that it can be disputed. For some reason, no one who is ever on the show has less than a shit-eating grin on their face. And I might say, warranted. Most are enthused to the point of jumping, fist pumping, aggressive high five-ing and giggling like like you're ten years old. Others actually go more extreme, dancing, leaping and putting on an overall show of hysterics you think that they may actually be planted or hand picked.

But you know they're not. You know that these people are actually being themselves. That the thrill of the opportunity to answer some silly questions about the prices of soap, cereal, and furniture may land you in a free trip for a lifetime or a new car. How would you react? Would the emotion of being swept into this bonanza overwhelm your senses and brain? Would logic cease to be? Or could you hold you're adrenaline and think about bids, probability and chance? This is actually the crux of the game. While the viewer can take out the adrenaline from the safety of their couch, the contestants obviously can not.

So what would I do if I actually were on the price is right? Well...

1) I'm not going completely sober. I'm using something to calm my nerves. Not a lot. Maybe a beer, maybe a hit of pot, but If I'm going to 'Come on down!' then I need to be slightly sedated to make sure I'm not too emotionally high. Now there is the possibility this would have the opposite effect and my endorphins would just go through the roof and I just collapse in a pile of brain mush, but I have a plan, so I'm gonna assume that I'm fine.

2) I'm up first to bid. This mean I literally must guess as close as I can without going over (duh). I have no one's bid to compete against, so I would bid exactly what I think the price is subtracting 50 dollars for some cushion. But after this, I'm playing off other people's bids as well. I won't get so caught up in their bids I don't think of what I'm actually bidding on, but certainly if I feel like everyone over bid (which feels like it happens at least once every episode) I'm going to bid that 1 dollar.

If I win, I plan on using a Tiger Woods/Michael Jordan/Kobe Bryant fist pump, point at the camera and mouth 'You Know It' while smirking ever so slightly, letting you know I'm both happy and have enough confidence that I expected to be here.

3) Assuming I've made it this far, I am now in a pretty euphoric state. Knowing my luck I won furniture, a bed, possibly exercise equipment, or a vase. But now I'm approaching my one on one game with Drew. Again, the most important thing would be to focus on the prices of the items and you're own history. I'd consult the crowd if I legitimately had no clue what the hell the price of bubble bath is or a hand bag. Really other than that I'm just playing the game.

If I win, pending the prize, I'm more than likely going to lose it. My Anthony Kiedis jumps will probably be in effect. I imagine at least one to two over hand fist pumps, followed by a brief John Wall dance.

4) The wheel. I'm crushing it. My call outs will go as follows. "I wanna thank the Lord, Jesus Christ, my Moms and Pops, Sarah, and all my homies in the projects of State College keeping it real."

or just thank whoever came with me to the show. Which would probably involve mostly Pickles staff members....(hint)

I plan to just push the damn wheel as hard as possible without looking like a jackass. 85% Power would probably be ideal so that the wheel moves with speed and I don't fall on my ass.

5) Showcase. The big deal. If I'm here I'm obviously stoked, but I'm almost immediately trying to calm myself, think but not over think myself out of the prices. If I feel my competitor over bid, i do not use the 1 dollar defense, instead just using a much safer bid than what I typically would.

If I won the showcase...

More jumping, possible exclamation to "Free Weezy" or an Antoine Dodson reference to "rapin ever'y body out here". I would definitely thank Drew, would mention that I loved the 'Drew Carey Show' growing up, and would ask protocol about the best way to sleep with one of the models.

I'd also ask him why the set looks like it's set up like the biggest and most expensive carnival tent in the world.

Uniting in The Trip That We Didn't Take...The Story Of Spring Broke

Sadly I am now out of college. At this point I'd say that 50 percent of the people I hang out with are now done with school as well. However one of the prime and most crazy times you could ever hope to have is a spring break. If it's spent anywhere warm, any kind of coast, the excess of youth and energy seem to overwhelm the area for the minute. And trust me, MTV will probably be there in some capacity. Cancun, South Beach, Ft. Lauderdale, Malibu, Hawaii, Dominican Republic...the list goes on. However, these trips take money, planning and effort. None of which I had in the Spring of 2010. I did have a good time, with friends that will always be friends after that non-trip we all took. This is the story of Spring Broke.

There were thoughts of going somewhere. Ideas had been floated. None acted upon. And now here we were in March, stuck in State College. There would be no warm weather either In fact, while the previous week had been rather nice, and the one following would be exquisite, the week where we had no responsibilities other than to show up to work, and have fun and forget about the troubles of the world was quite shitty. Wind, rain, and cold with little sunlight.

Lesser people would be deterred from going out. They might stay in. Watch re-runs of 'The Office', catch a basketball or hockey game. Read a book. My friends are not those kinds of people. They have off, and since we have no money to go on a real trip...we will still take leave of our realities, even if it's in mind only.

The beginning of the week was for the most part uninteresting, but still relaxing. If you went out, perhaps you shot some pool at a dive bar, or chilled watching sports. Maybe one or two of your friends went for a half-off-the-house Irish Car Bomb slug fest (My roommate...good work) on a Monday (and Wednesday). Either way everyone was prepping for Saturday. Saturday was designated as the day that we would get together and really go all out. Barbecue, beer, slapping the bag, etc. Shenanigans must ensue. from the balcony of the porch.

Fortunately for myself I actually began the Saturday at work. Though the students were still gone, business was not that different than usual, thanks to the fact that the locals actually decided to come out from their suburban holes. This would keep me from participating in the early parts of preparation, ... the food preparation, setting up of music, hiding of various electronics, locking of certain doors, unnecessary pre-gaming and general awkwardness that happens when parties are just being setup/beginning.

When I do arrive, the timing is perfect, hot dogs and burgers are on and cooking, no one is sober, but no one is messy, and everyone is grinning, knowing that this is going to be a fun experience that everyone has been looking forward to.

From here on the night goes no different than any other house party night. There is keg stands, beer pong, flirting, beer bongs, stoners moving away to smoke for a minute, or possibly somebody got a hold of something else, in any event, the night is going strong. The energy seems to just grow and grow, people bring pasta salad, chips, beer, a bag of wine, a fifth of Jack Daniels. The people that have stayed here with us, that would join up for a night on the town on a Wednesday knowing in all likelihood that a group of 4-10 people would make up 25% of the patronage at any given bar; they're all here. And in that revelry is what made spring broke special. Everyone is on the same page for that whole week, and everyone seems to be together.

And thus begins the singing. I don't quite understand how or why we all got there, but somehow, terrible drunk singing is contagious at this point. Perhaps it was the song, perhaps it was just a moment, but we are all in unison singing Michael Jackson's 'Will You Be There', which may be better titled under "That 'Free Willy' Song". Now if you are some degenerate and have never seen the movie, here's a helpful youtube link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33XPuLXJ6p0

Now, I have several theories as to why we started singing this song.

1. 'Free Willy' was a great movie from most of our childhoods, and even though looking back on it, we never really continued our love of whales until now. (Though I do admit, I made my Dad help me save one whale by calling that free number at the end of the movie and donating like 20 bucks, I got a dumb ass packet about the whale and never gave a shit again....sorry Dad.)

2. We were wrapped in our euphoric bliss. We felt on top of the world, and as friends conquered the town. This is (I think) not to dissimilar from what would happen had we actually had money to go on spring break. We would have a group of friends that would chill for the week, we would have some fun early, but in reality be really saving up for that last night, that last hurrah, where shit just starts hitting the fan. That at the end of this you know you have to get back to the grind so that you're squeezing every last bit of freedom out of this trip and you will do exactly, and in no uncertain terms, whatever the fuck you want.

3. Michael Jackson's shit got really hot after he died, the feeling had not subsided and thus even if you felt like the song was dumb as shit you felt socially obligated to sing along to fit in with everyone else

4. Well...we were all just pretty wasted at this point.

After this serenade the night continues at a raucous and chaotic pace. Eventually I turn to see key's being punched through beer cans. And for some reason my friends are discarding their shirts.

Typically I avoid these scenarios, I don't particularly like getting my picture taken, I don't typically like to be an exhibitionist of any sorts. I like attention, but only in reasonable doses, otherwise I become extremely self-conscious. This however, was spring broke. These were different circumstances than which I usually operate. (See also, Birthday, Hotel State College Christmas Party, Arts Fest, Home Football games and 80's parties.) So I too partook in the pic, the subsequent crush of the beer, and then, for reasons unknown even to myself, I leaped

I thought I could clear the hedges, and then, maybe, I don't know...role through through the brief stretch of lawn. I thought, I could make it. Looking back, it was quite foolish, but it was fun as shit and I don't regret it. My initial landing didn't hurt, which may have been in part to the fact that we were listening to punk rock at my time of departure. In any case, the effect was contagious and my stunts were then duplicated by various people which makes me feel good that I wasn't alone in that energetic euphoria.

And as the songs kept playing and times became timeless, you realize that's all spring break is. It's an opportunity to release energy with your friends and peers in as fun a manner as you can possibly express. And in our particular case it was good to know you could always escape if you wanted to, even if you didn't go anywhere.

Revolutionize Music...Again

If you like music, you are no doubt familiar with a few of the Internet innovations as a way to listen to music. Pandora, Grooveshark, and of course, the commercial beast that is Itunes. The latest innovation, by Apple(again) may be the biggest advancement in music that I've ever witnessed. A social network not only designed to let music lover's find music, but also to have an open interaction with the other musicians and fans.

As I've tested the application, I've downloaded one new album (The National-High Violet), began following certain artists, and looked through their recommendations and links. It's integration will then show followers what I'm listening to, what I've purchased, reviewed or commentated on. In short, it's an infinite discussion on music.

The concept is not new. I make cd's for my friends, they do so for me and that's one way to share. Or maybe a link on Facebook, or making a list to put on Grooveshark. But this is different, because you can actively choose, and people you know can put in their input.

Now I know, the songs on Itunes are not free, which is a turn off to some (I never mind paying. I think music is worth money. I may be in the minority on that though.) But it's definitely worth checking out, and you should definitely follow me. At worse, you just follow other artists and people and help shape the musical landscape. Worth a shot, no?

I have high hopes for this. I constantly ask people for new things to listen to. Or their opinions on older music. This looks like a place to everything, all at once.

(Oh and you can follow me too by the way.)