The 'Price is Right' is awesome. I don't know that it can be disputed. For some reason, no one who is ever on the show has less than a shit-eating grin on their face. And I might say, warranted. Most are enthused to the point of jumping, fist pumping, aggressive high five-ing and giggling like like you're ten years old. Others actually go more extreme, dancing, leaping and putting on an overall show of hysterics you think that they may actually be planted or hand picked.
But you know they're not. You know that these people are actually being themselves. That the thrill of the opportunity to answer some silly questions about the prices of soap, cereal, and furniture may land you in a free trip for a lifetime or a new car. How would you react? Would the emotion of being swept into this bonanza overwhelm your senses and brain? Would logic cease to be? Or could you hold you're adrenaline and think about bids, probability and chance? This is actually the crux of the game. While the viewer can take out the adrenaline from the safety of their couch, the contestants obviously can not.
So what would I do if I actually were on the price is right? Well...
1) I'm not going completely sober. I'm using something to calm my nerves. Not a lot. Maybe a beer, maybe a hit of pot, but If I'm going to 'Come on down!' then I need to be slightly sedated to make sure I'm not too emotionally high. Now there is the possibility this would have the opposite effect and my endorphins would just go through the roof and I just collapse in a pile of brain mush, but I have a plan, so I'm gonna assume that I'm fine.
2) I'm up first to bid. This mean I literally must guess as close as I can without going over (duh). I have no one's bid to compete against, so I would bid exactly what I think the price is subtracting 50 dollars for some cushion. But after this, I'm playing off other people's bids as well. I won't get so caught up in their bids I don't think of what I'm actually bidding on, but certainly if I feel like everyone over bid (which feels like it happens at least once every episode) I'm going to bid that 1 dollar.
If I win, I plan on using a Tiger Woods/Michael Jordan/Kobe Bryant fist pump, point at the camera and mouth 'You Know It' while smirking ever so slightly, letting you know I'm both happy and have enough confidence that I expected to be here.
3) Assuming I've made it this far, I am now in a pretty euphoric state. Knowing my luck I won furniture, a bed, possibly exercise equipment, or a vase. But now I'm approaching my one on one game with Drew. Again, the most important thing would be to focus on the prices of the items and you're own history. I'd consult the crowd if I legitimately had no clue what the hell the price of bubble bath is or a hand bag. Really other than that I'm just playing the game.
If I win, pending the prize, I'm more than likely going to lose it. My Anthony Kiedis jumps will probably be in effect. I imagine at least one to two over hand fist pumps, followed by a brief John Wall dance.
4) The wheel. I'm crushing it. My call outs will go as follows. "I wanna thank the Lord, Jesus Christ, my Moms and Pops, Sarah, and all my homies in the projects of State College keeping it real."
or just thank whoever came with me to the show. Which would probably involve mostly Pickles staff members....(hint)
I plan to just push the damn wheel as hard as possible without looking like a jackass. 85% Power would probably be ideal so that the wheel moves with speed and I don't fall on my ass.
5) Showcase. The big deal. If I'm here I'm obviously stoked, but I'm almost immediately trying to calm myself, think but not over think myself out of the prices. If I feel my competitor over bid, i do not use the 1 dollar defense, instead just using a much safer bid than what I typically would.
If I won the showcase...
More jumping, possible exclamation to "Free Weezy" or an Antoine Dodson reference to "rapin ever'y body out here". I would definitely thank Drew, would mention that I loved the 'Drew Carey Show' growing up, and would ask protocol about the best way to sleep with one of the models.
I'd also ask him why the set looks like it's set up like the biggest and most expensive carnival tent in the world.
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