Christmas Party

As far as other company office parties go...I can't really speak to them, but I can speak to mine. See my place of business is a bar, which means essentially my business is about parties and having fun. I'm paid to make sure you have a good time. Thus, when WE as employees are all told to have a good time, we know exactly how to do it.

1. Dress nice. You don't have to try and impress the world, But if you aren't feeling a sexy vibe (Not slut and not overdressed douche by the way.) Then try again.

2. Do not going into this event with expectations. It's a party, which means spontaneity is generally a good thing. If you go in with goals (Employee of The Year, impress a boss, kiss that cute coworker that's been flirting with you...or more) it tends to be a letdown. You should be letting go, trying to accomplish nothing other than maintaining a sliver of dignity and not getting fired.

That's it. Those are the only real rules. Other than that, go play and do what makes you happy. If you wanna drink a lot of alcohol, or only a little, both are fine. As long as your inebriation comes off in a positive light, you're golden.

Now the story of MY Christmas party.

I begin by deciding on my clothes, which would be simple. Black slacks, black shoes, black tie, white collared shirt. It's so simple, but after watching Mad Men for the past month you can't escape how awesome that combination is. It's pretty much timeless. (See also: Bond, James)

I then called a cab to get me to pre-party at a co-workers place. The woman driving happened to be a former co-worker from roughly 4 years ago which made the trip far more pleasurable. We talked about the party and the excitement that builds leading up to it and then the fun of the fall out after.

Upon arriving I feel pretty at home. It's early and I like being one of the people that needs to warm up. Walking into a party that's in full swing while you cold is not for me. I wouldn't say I'm stiff sober, but certainly I'm not as free flowing as I would be if I had one or two drinks in me. So being one of the first to arrives not only doesn't bother me, but it helps me warm up to the social atmosphere. If the party were to be compared to say pick-up basketball, I'm the guy that takes a lap and begins stretching so they don't pull anything.

After half an hour or so the bulk of the rest of the party arrives. Our host, has either intentionally or unintentionally given us a great ice breaker by giving us all nick names. Some he'd have to explain, some not, but it became an automatic in to a conversation that would not center around work. We work in some shots, and get in some pictures. In people are filling in their roles such as

The Picture Taker

They need to get pictures, and they need you to pose for not just one, but several. There is no way this can be a forgettable experience because this person will not let it. They brought they're Canon and will be damned if they don't get across just how awesome they believe this event to be.


Brings up Work Guy

These people are typically either A) socially backwards or B) believe YOU are socially backwards. More often than not it's the former and you'll be walked into a stupendously boring conversation about the value of something mundane (Copy Machines, Staplers, 5 hour energy).

Overdressed Guy/Girl

Everyone hates this guy, and no matter what someone take this prize home. Even if everyone dressed down, there's one person who still managed to dress up a bit too much. This person usually recognizes their mistake and will try to fit in by either losing their jackets and ties, or making self deprecating jokes to take away some of the jealousy that will no doubt spring up for looking better than everyone else.

The Lush

They're going to love every minute of everything and they probably love you too. They believe they're good time will end with their lips around someone else and tonight would be a great opportunity for that to happen.

The Comic

This person will be making jokes the entire night, looking to be part of the necessary life blood of the party. A great person to be around through out the night. The comic is also probably going to get ass this night, because being funny and entertaining while people are drinking and losing sense of what people look like is probably a good thing.


There are variations but these seem to be the ones that stick out. After a few hours, the taxis arrive and we are off. I volunteer to take the first cab, inviting whomever into the cab. Again it doesn't really matter who gets in to me, I'm solely interested in arriving in the next stage, the actual party stage. Where we go to the rented out club to cherish our own.

I've been told that I'm up for employee of the year. A notion but one I don't particularly care for. Yes, I would like to be recognized, but I don't know exactly what criteria I possess that others have. I work physically as hard as anyone, but socially I know I'm probably below average. I'm a nice guy, but I can certainly become moody, and moody people are not necessarily the easiest to get along with. I probably would not vote for me for employee of the year because it's questionable how much I would get along with a second me.

That being said I start with the basics. We are greeted by our bosses, so I attempt to present myself as composed as possible to keep myself out of any light at all. I've been trying to keep it manageable all night so I go for a sipping drink with a whiskey on the rocks. However, little plastic cups filled with ice and liquor looks decidedly amateur, so after one I go to beer from then on.

At this point, the groups have been partying for roughly 3 hours and now some of us are starting to slip into their excess. Now the flirtations are getting a little closer. The jokes a little cruder, and the drinks seem to come a little faster. And right at this moment is when the Employee's of the Year are announced.

We have several since our company is essentially divided amongst the bars that make up the Hotel State College. So it's a long process, usually consisting of friendly rivalries between the establishments. We all pat ourselves on the back and then make a lot of noise for whomever wins the award. It's meant to feel good, but in the back of my mind it has always needled my competitive personality that I never won the award.

Afterwards, the party continues and the dancing really picks up. The dance floor is where you SHOULD want to be if possible. These are the people that have lost the most of their inhibitions and are more than likely feeling the party the most. I'm having a blast.

Sadly, like all good things, it comes to an end, and in the scramble, it becomes apparent that the after party will not exactly happen as planned. Some people will go back to where the pregame was held, some will go to the bar, and some will go to a second separate post game party. I'm torn. I wanted a seem less transition but it appears that there will be none. Also, I'm pretty drunk and unable to actually make sense of anything going on other than the fact I need to leave the club.

All in all, it was a great party with lots of fun had by all, and if I'm here to experience one again, I definitely will jump at the opportunity.


Oh and if you made it to the end....

The Top Ten


10. D2
9. Caroline H
8. Sean
7. Me
6. Caroline F
5. Rachel
4. Chelsea
3. Krimm
2. Steve
1. Tsunami (Rodney Bohner award winner 2010)